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Predicting Human Behavior With 100% Accuracy: Misgender a Cat

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catFew things in life are certain, but there is one area of human behavior I fancy myself something of an expert — in fact, I rate my own judgment in this area so highly that I can confidently claim to predict the response of every conscious being with 100% accuracy, should you find yourself in a wagering mood. This is a social experiment that will require a little effort on your part, but I guarantee you will find events unfold exactly as I predict. Humans are all alike in this way.

Step the first: Visit a friend who owns a cat at a time when both cat and human are at home.

Step the second: Wait to be introduced to the cat, or for the cat’s name to be brought up in some slightly more organic fashion.

Step the third (this is crucial): At some later point in the conversation, refer to the cat by an incorrect gender.

Step the fourth: Wait. No one – no one – will let this minor, harmless error go. Every living, breathing person on this planet will immediately respond with “Actually, [s]he’s a boy/girl.” Everyone will say this. It does not matter if they are not the sort of person ordinarily given over to correcting others in conversation, or if they are particularly fond of their particular cat, or if they are the most gender-neutral, open-minded pansexual who ever went by “xie/xirr.”

They will tell you that you have misgendered their cat, even though cats do not appear to have visible genitals in the first place, and in all likelihood their cat was neutered years ago. Most likely their cat has never once engaged in the act of copulation. Their cat does not wear clothes or feel defined by societal gender roles. For all practical purposes, their cat has no gender. The gender of a cat is one of the least important things in the world. If this cat were to somehow transform, Tiresias-like, from male to female in the next instant, it is highly likely that nothing about its (or its owner’s) life would change a jot. And yet people cannot resist from adhering to a course of strict and constant accuracy when it comes to the gender of a cat. It is inexplicable.

Misgender a fish or a bird and it is likely you will hear nothing. No one can misgender a dog; female dogs have those unsettling little nipple-pellets running along the length of their midsections and science has not yet found a way to make dog penises invisible. But misgender a cat and you will never have a moment’s peace til your error is corrected.

I do not pretend to know why this is. I do not know what good it will do you to know this. But it is true, and perhaps that is enough.

Read more Predicting Human Behavior With 100% Accuracy: Misgender a Cat at The Toast.

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JimRPh
3754 days ago
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Gulf Breeze, Florida
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3756 days ago
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4 public comments
乔允浩
3756 days ago
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13280985796@163.com
Courtney
3756 days ago
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Unfortunately true.
Portland, OR
IvyJanet
3756 days ago
We have a Blackman familial cat that I call "she" and my parents call "he" (she had undescended testicles and we didn't find out until she'd lived with us for like a year and a half). So she has a girly name (Bridget, aka The Most Beautiful Perfect Creature), and she's old and moribund, and it's weird to me that we have feelings about whether she's a boy a girl.
Courtney
3756 days ago
Extra weird - I just had feelings upon learning that Bridget had undescended testicles. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME RE: CAT GENDER.
raquinsey
3756 days ago
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"If this cat were to somehow transform, Tiresias-like, from male to female in the next instant, it is highly likely that nothing about its (or its owner’s) life would change a jot."
Toronto, Ontario
Gregidon
3755 days ago
True, however, cat genders are more important than the author lets on. It's a strong indicator of how much that cat will spray in your house!
grammargirl
3756 days ago
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This is 100% accurate.
Brooklyn, NY

Backblaze Blog » Is the NSA Using Backblaze Storage Pods for PRISM Surveillance Data? Here’s What we Know…

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The leaked presentation about PRISM detailed the ability for the NSA to collect emails, photos, videos, and more from nine companies including: Microsoft, Google, Facebook, and Apple. There has been a tremendous amount of debate about whether PRISM allows “direct” access to these companies’ servers, somewhat limited access through some type of intermediate portal, or only the fulfillment of individual legally-required requests. There have also been denials by all nine of the companies listed as “Current Providers” regarding whether PRISM actually has direct access.

(Note: Backblaze did not share customer data with PRISM. This post is about whether the NSA is using Backblaze Storage Pod technology that we open sourced.)

Regardless what the NSA actually has gotten access to and how they have done so, it’s clear that their intent is to collect an astounding amount of digital data. How much data?

On November 1, 2009, TechCrunch reported (based on a book review of The Secret Sentry: The Untold History of the National Security Agency) that the NSA intends to build a new $2 billion Utah-based datacenter to store a yottabyte of surveillance data by the end of 2015.

It’s nearly impossible to wrap your head around how much data is in a yottabyte, but since Backblaze is in the business of backing up mass volumes of data, we decided to give some context with a blog post a couple weeks later: NSA might want some Backblaze pods

We estimated it would cost over $100 trillion and require datacenters the size of Delaware and Rhode Island combined to store that much data.

To put it in other terms, Facebook announced that it has 250 petabytes of data. A yottabyte is a billion petabytes. The NSA intends to have the capacity to store all of Facebook’s data 4 million times over.

So, why do we think the NSA may be using Backblaze Storage Pods?

With the goal of storing an outrageous amount of data, there would be several design goals:

1. Density – being able to fit as much of that data in as small a space as possible is critical in order to not require building state-sized data centers.
2. Cost – while the NSA is the largest spy-agency spender in the world, when measuring storage costs in billions and trillions, cost does become a significant driver of possibility.

Both of these are important and something the Backblaze Storage Pods have been optimized for, but the NSA may benefit most from one unusual aspect of our systems: open source hardware.

When SGI bought super-computer maker Cray in 1996, our CTO who worked there at the time said the running joke was, “SGI sold no units this quarter, but made a healthy profit.” That wasn’t magic accounting. It was the NSA requiring purchases not be disclosed. The problem was, revenue still had to be reported.

If the NSA purchased billions of dollars of storage equipment from EMC, NetApp, or Hitachi, it would be nearly impossible to keep that size of an order under wraps.

The beauty of open source hardware is that the NSA can build these systems themselves. How much does the NSA value secrecy?

The CIA and other government agencies

For a brief moment several years ago, Backblaze sold Storage Pods. (We haven’t since and don’t now.) At the time, two government agencies bought Storage Pods from us with exactly this goal in mind: they wanted a few units to test, if they worked, they would build a team internally to manufacture their own Storage Pods based on the open source hardware specifications.

Neither of those agencies was going to use that storage for surveillance.

On September 8, 2011, however, we received an email titled, “Visit with the CIA”. It stated:

You also might be aware that the CIA has a new five year funded initiative to centralize data services into a large private cloud. I have information on that if you are interested. The project is in discovery mode now and I am assisting the Office of the CTO in becoming aware of all the potential technologies that might be deployed. I am organizing a technology tour ( my fourth one) concentrating on infrastructure and security.

A few days later they sent us a presentation:

And a week later a few folks arrived at our office and the agenda was:

The meeting agenda should be an overview of your products and technology as it relates to the mission of the new private cloud project ( see attachments) that is now funded beginning this year. The meeting should be very interactive allowing discussions about applications of your technology.

During the meeting, the team was interested in how to store large volumes of data and cost efficiency. Neither the identity of nor the data of our customers was ever of interest or brought up.

So does the NSA store surveillance data on Backblaze Storage Pods?

We don’t know for sure and certainly the NSA is certainly not publishing their storage architecture. However, between the multiple government agencies using and exploring Backblaze Storage Pods and the pods characteristics as highly-dense, cost-efficient, and open source systems, certainly makes them a very likely candidate. Perhaps another leak will answer that question in the future!

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JimRPh
3928 days ago
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Gulf Breeze, Florida
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Losing Nemo | mrlee.tv

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Losing Nemo is a six-minute long animated film about industrial overfishing, made by a 30+ strong international team of creatives! What began as just an idea turned out much bigger than we could possibly have anticipated. From concept to writing, from 3D-modelling to animating and to the composition of music; it has all been done on a voluntary basis. People from Germany to Spain and from Venezuela to New-Zealand have contributed to the first self-initiated project of Mister Lee.

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JimRPh
3943 days ago
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Gulf Breeze, Florida
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3 Apps And Services That Can Tap Into The Feedly Cloud

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Although there are several alternatives to Google Reader, Feedly, with its easy to use interface, has been the primary choice for reading news. Along with announcing Feedly Cloud, Feedly also informed its users about other services and apps that can be used in combination with Feedly. In this article, we'll look at three that integrate exceptionally well with Feedly.

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Read full article: 3 Apps And Services That Can Tap Into The Feedly Cloud

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JimRPh
3945 days ago
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IFTTT would be a plus with NewsBlur.
Gulf Breeze, Florida
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BuddyTV's New Fall 2013 TV Shows

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JimRPh
3947 days ago
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Fall 2013 TV Schedules
Gulf Breeze, Florida
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